Do the Right Thing

I know everyone says it is important to “do the right thing”. So the phrase loses some of its zest. Especially when those who say it don’t follow it.

Actually doing the right thing is what matters. It’s the doing that’s important. When presented with a real life scenario that represents a difficult decision, it’s easy to say that you would do the right thing, but would you really make the difference is actually doing the right thing when actually living that difficult scenario.

Something else that appears to be difficult, especially in today’s society, is having a strong moral code or compass and following it on a daily basis. Everyone deviates from what they know is right every now and then, but in general if you can live by what you believe to be morally sound then you’re in pretty good shape. Avoiding hypocrisy by avoiding doing things that go against your moral code is what is important here.

Doing the right thing can be hard for so many reasons:

• It could conflict with loyalty to your friends or family. Maybe they made you promise not to tell anyone their secret, but part you know in order to do what’s best for them and/or to keep them safe, you have to expose their secret and break that promise.
• It might be embarrassing. Maybe your friends are acting like jerks and you’d rather just stay quiet than speak up and have them do the same to you, or maybe you’re afraid they wouldn’t see you the same way because you called out their behavior.
• It might feel unfair to you. Maybe someone did something to you, and you feel it’s only fair to exact revenge. Even though, deep down, you know taking the highroad and letting it go is the right thing to do in the situation. Maybe they’re hurt and lashing out, and instead of revenge, they need someone to reach out and talk – someone who will understand and empathize with them. Often times, there’s more to a situation than meets the eye, which is why it’s important to A few things from multiple perspectives, and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
• It might take more time to do what is right. Cheating on the test or stealing someone else’s idea(s) are both less time consuming than putting in the hard work.
• It might be hard to decide what actually is the right thing to do. Maybe a good friend of yours stole something, and you know about it so you could turn them in. However, you also know they are in a really difficult situation with their life circumstances and maybe aren’t thinking clearly. Should you instead confront them, see if there’s a way you or someone you know could help them, and then maybe get that stolen item returned without them getting into trouble? Would they even be open to that idea?
• There are so many reasons and scenarios where doing the right thing is hard. What is “right”, anyway? It will differ from person to person, but assuming you have a conscience and a decent moral character, you’ll know, and the vast majority of what is right to most people will coincide. Even if people have trouble following their moral compass, that voice will be there. You just have to learn to listen to it.

“Respond not react” can help here too. Don’t instantly act on your first impulse. Take some time to really think about what you should do.

Sometimes you won’t listen. You might feel bad about it. You might not. That’s generally okay. No one is perfect. Hopefully, you do catch what you did wrong, and you feel remorseful, but at the same time, you can’t dwell on it forever. Reflect on it, learn your lesson, and move forward to hopefully do the right thing next time.

There is a big difference between understanding what you did wrong and truly learning from the experience in the sense of taking it to heart and really believing it so that it absolutely does not happen again. The difference can be hard to grasp. A lot of people think they have truly learned something once they understand it. They think they have taken their mistake to heart and learned from it, but then consistently repeat their bad behavior until something finally clicks about why they not only should never do it again but also why they never want to do it again. Then maybe they move on as a truly better person. Not all issues of this kind are consistently repetitive behaviors either, that’s just an example.

• Next: Honesty
• Previous: Love