Ask Why Then Listen

Not a new idea. Just an important one.

In today’s society every issue is presented as only having two sides. “You’re with us or against us!” We rally to the side that more closely reflects our values and we dig in our heels. We become defensive and angry at anyone who doesn’t feel the same. We lose touch of the humanity on the other side. We see them as wrong or stupid or ignorant. We don’t care what they have to say.

Why?

That simple question is important. We need to be using it more often. Instead of digging in our heels and looking for a fight when someone disagrees, ask “Why?”

“Why do you feel that way?”
“Why do you believe what you do?”
“Why did you say what you did?”

Modern issues don’t have a line in the sand. They are not clear cut. They require complex solutions, compromise, and cooperation. We need to seek to understand instead of fighting to be heard. There’s a lot of people talking and not a lot of listening. We are all guilty of this.

We need to listen to each other. Next time, start with “Why?” Don’t prepare a response, just listen.

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